On limitations

It is easy to see the beginning of things. Then there are the unexpected courses that inevitably interfere with the best laid plans. Broken resolves have been a source of contention with me for as long as I can remember. I have never gone camping before and I really enjoyed it, however I have decided to come home and finish this trip in increments; for many reasons. I did not sleep at all last night because of the eerie noises and did not trust my ability to make a long drive. After I set up camp and enjoyed the flood of summer rain the night was ready to fall. I laid restless in my tent, anxious as I heard footsteps in the leaves. Looking out the door of the tent I discovered it was a deer and not someone trying to harm me in any way. That did not change the fact that I would not sleep a wink. I struggled with excepting the limitations of my body and of my mind, I really wanted to do this. Even if I got through that day I know that this could very well happen again, which could be dangerous especially with the elevations I hiked and planned to hike. In fact it was difficult for me in the extreme. Of course there where a million different scenarios. I thought what I could do had the circumstances been different, the timing been different, had I been different. In my imagination there was no extreme heat, scary noises, aching back, or traffic jams. I will go all of the places I want to go but my imagination wanted to do them all at the same time. The lesson in this story for me is that it’s okay and no person is worse for my choice to break up my adventures into smaller excursions. I recognize this now for what it is and not what I can concoct in my imagination. I am always desirous of so much life at once because I know how precious time is. I am going to continue this blog as I work on my book and prepare to start grad school in the Fall. I live and I take chances. I write because I am compelled to and because it helps me to understand things. In freeing myself of the expectations of others and of myself; I have discovered a new realm of my creativity that I am eager to get to know. 

The adventure ensued like this…

I hit the road yesterday morning in my little silver Subaru, which was packed to the gills with camping gear. I sang Uptown Funk twice before I exited the Pennslyvania Turnpike. I think I’m getting better at it everytime although I’ll never match Kai’s performance on the Ellen Show. Being that I intake an absurd amount of water a day it is miraculous that I made it all the way to Allentown before I stopped to use the restroom! That is where I met the first kind stranger of the day. His name was Jack. I held open the door for him because he had his hands full of Red Bull and bags of ice. We started talking about where he was headed when I realized I needed ice too so I went to go back but he asked why and proceeded to offer me the rest of his ice because he didn’t need it all. I made it the rest of the way to the Delaware Seashore State Park without stopping. It was wonderful to see my friend Mary from high school when I arrived! We don’t get together often so it was a great treat to spend the first night of this adventure with a kindred spirit. I was impressed with the artfulness of our camping etiquette.  The tent was put up with ease, I didn’t blow us up with the cooking propane, and I didn’t have to google anything! We reminisced, walked on the beach, and took some photos before turning in. I loved the smell of the air as I woke up outside. I drove to Virgnia today to see my Uncle. On the road for awhile, I decided to stop of a cup of coffee. I had no idea where I was at that point. This was where a group of kind strangers came in bringing me up to five in less than twenty four hours! Four men that just finished a round of golf were sitting outside and happily told me that I was in Bowie, Maryland. We got to talking about golf, my trip, and other pleasant conversation. I ended up hanging out for awhile, they were all great people to meet. Which reiterates a point I try to make often: there are so manty more good people than bad! I love people and I am always enlightened and interested in different ways with each interaction that I open myself to. I got back on the road and spent about forty minutes waiting to get through the Dulles toll, something that I was just warned would happen, but there was the next kindness! Despite her poor driving decisions, I allowed the woman that drove in the wrong lane to go in front of me and she paid for my toll! I thought that was a very kind gesture. Seeing my mom’s brother was a great ending to a great day. I love our conversations and anecdotes about life. It’s not often that I get to talk to him in person. Being able to share stories and memories that are such an essence of my heart means a great deal to me. It is also nice to get some advice and tips from someone who knows a whole hell of a lot more about life than I do! Please excuse any grammatical errrors as I am literally about to fall asleep. Until tomorow.

Love,
Kelli

Hurry up and slow down!

I am sitting here rePhoto on 6-8-15 at 9.11 AMading the paper and I get to try my hand at the crossword puzzle! Time is awesome. As a fairly young work in progress I get so caught up in trying to do too much in a day. Work aside, there never seems enough time to do all of what I want to get done.  In the words of John Burroughs “I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see. The longer I live, the more my mind dwells upon the beauty and the wonder of the world.” I really love that quote, my mom had it written on an index card from when she was in school and now I use it as a book mark. On this trip I am quite literally forcing myself to take a break from even having the opportunity to overwhelm myself with these things. I will not be tirelessly trying to read the “list of books everyone should read before they die”, nor will i be finishing sewing a quilt by hand, publishing a book, mastering a handstand, or training for a marathon. I am honored to have this life and I will do everything I can with it while I have it but that doesn’t mean I have to be so busy all the time. After I finish breakfast and this blog post I think i’ll meander about the backyard to see what the trees are up to before I start packing. Have a beautiful Monday!

Love,

Kelli

Wherever you go there you are.

IMG_1111We are all impatient sometimes. Even with meditation, yoga, mindfulness,  and a good head on your shoulders we are still human. I love to paint, write, and create things from the inspiration I derive from the world around me. About a year ago I lost that part of myself when my mom died. I actually lost everything that I believed in as I struggled to cope with the grief. No matter what I did or where I went; the pain was there too. Within the past week I began to feel alive again. I want my life so bad. I decided to take this trip not to runaway but to experience these small adventures with the spirit of my mom, with the deep inner knowing that she will be there with every blunder and every enlightenment, still helping me grow.

Why?

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I have always been an artist, even when I wished I wasn’t. I thought how great would it be if I could just be something more practical so the practical police can stop busting my ass. I have discovered that trying to be anything but yourself is terrible! I made a decision to embrace who I am and use the talents that I have in all the ways that I can imagine. I’ll write more on the why later, I really just wanted a reason to post this beautiful flower.

Love,

Kelli

Preparation for the trip!

So I’m preparing to leave on this trip and for those of you who know me I realize your first thought is “can she even pitch a tent?”. The answer is yes I can! I have all of the essentials to keep myself safe and comfortable. I even have a tool that does about nineteen different things but I’ve only tried three so far. I have fulfilled my obligations, taken leave from work, and am having the car checked out to make sure its ready for the trip. When I was looking for my next move I was just going to accept a job and move across the country, but realized that wasn’t what the universe needs from me right now. I wasn’t made to sit at a desk. I know that this doesn’t seem very practical to some readers and even some people close to me. Coming from my perspective this is well-planned, thoughtful, and exciting. It is quite possibly one of the most practical things that I have chosen to do for myself. If I fail, which I am not a stranger to doing, I will fail on my own accord and the next time that I fail I will do it better.

Love,

Kelli